Psychology, Government, and Homosexuality - yes this will get ugly

So I have to write a discussion post for my online psychology class. On the most recent occasion of this "critical thinking" writing assignment, we were asked to write about the psychological and biological evidence of homosexuality and how it might affect the decision-making of the government.

So I know you're excited so I'll get right to it.

Here is the Prompt:

Students:

For your discussion topic 2, post at least one main posting (using "New Post") and at least two replies to posts from other students (using "Reply") to the following topic:

Your text, in Chapter 4, presented scientific information on gender and sexuality, including sexual orientation. However, sexuality and especially issues of sexual orientation remain very controversial topics in our culture.

Using critical thinking skills as outlined in Chapter 1 of your textbook, discuss the following: How would political decisions and laws related to sexual orientation, such as gay marriage or gays in the military, be made differently if they were guided more by current scientific evidence rather than by past traditional assumptions and beliefs?

Keep in mind that critical thinking requires that we carefully examine our underlying assumptions and beliefs, exposing hidden values and agendas, weighing evidence, and assessing conclusions, rather than just blindly accepting past arguments and conclusions. Discussion of this topic needs to reflect critical thinking and not just unexamined expression of personal opinions without supporting evidence.

And here is my response to the promt:

Within the contents of the book Psychology in Everyday Life, by David G. Myers, lies great scientific evidence supporting the fact that those with homosexual tendencies are indeed born gay. Simon LeVay for example studied donated cell samples from people with homosexual and heterosexual tendencies. These tests showed that cells in heterosexuals were larger than those found in homosexuals. Therefore these cells would have an important affect on the brain pathway and therefore show a difference between homosexuality and heterosexuality. The book provides more detail about the subject on page 115.

If leaders in the government and military allowed their law making decisions to be guided by these findings and beliefs then obviously things would be different. This research could show a lot of people that those with homosexual tendencies cannot control their emotions towards the same sex. If it were proved beyond a doubt that homosexuals cannot control feelings towards the same sex, then making laws restricting their marriage and admittance into the military would indeed be just as judgmental and prejudice as placing laws and restrictions on the blacks because of their color. Therefore, anyone with a sense of history and emotional understanding in the government would vote to relieve such restrictions on homosexuality.

There are, however, divisions over this issue in the science world as well. LeVay has simply shown evidence that support a theory that gays may be born with a tendency to be attracted to the same sex. He has not proven that it is uncontrollable. Many psychologists are doing tests and research on people with other tendencies, such as the fact that psychopaths have the tendency to be violent. A book called the Mask of Sanity is one of the many publications about psychopathy and the fact that psychopaths have tendencies to be violent. These people can be born with the disorder, or they can learn it and cultivate a characteristic of violent behavior. Jessica H. Lee has also written an article about treating psychopathy and anti social disorders. It is a hard disorder to treat, but it is treatable according to her article.

With that evidence, and the use of critical thinking, is it not sensible to ask “Can gay tendencies also be ‘treated’ ?” If people, with seemingly uncontrollable attractions to the same sex, demand that restrict their tendencies and emotions be repealed and further more that society should continue to embrace their tendencies and actions, then couldn’t these psychopaths, with seemingly uncontrollable tendencies to violence, demand the same?

Leaders in the government are also guided with this evidence, research, and critical thinking. The fact that scientists are still divided on this issue, and there is no proof that homosexuality is completely out of human control, will yield divisions in the government and therefore divisions in law making. Therefore, perhaps for now, since science is not certain about the issue, government leaders must continue to lean on their religious and moral beliefs to make the best choices about the issue. Hopefully with the discoveries that show how difficult homosexuality is to overcome, leaders in every facet will refrain from being judgmental or critical of those who have homosexual tendencies. But science could guide our leaders either way.

"Petty" Claims Court

I work at a law firm in Las Vegas. I love my job. I hope to go into law someday, and at least have some practice as an attorney. You know, law is really interesting. There's an entire network going on everyday that governs even the smallest ordeals of the citizens from the federal, to state, city, and I'll even add, Small claims. If you're looking for entertainment and a self-esteem boost, this is the place for your after dinner show.

My boss asked me if I'd like to go to court with him today. Of course, I jumped at the c

hance. He explained how it was small claims court and probably wouldn't be extremely exciting, but you know, you have to start somewhere. Anyway, let me explain of how this system works for those of y

ou who haven't seen it. It's basically a parental facility where people cant go if one side or both cannot solve a problem themselves and need a parental figure to tell them what to do.

I'll sum up what I heard today.

Plantiff side: Plantiff's son was leaving his girlfriend's driveway. Stopped halfw

ay out of

the driveway to listen to music. (Short attention span, right?) Claimed he waited with his car partially on the drive way and the road, for about 10 minutes. Next thing he knew he was hit on the left corner of his car. Claims his girlfriend witnessed it. Girlfriend says she was standing in the doorway of her house and witnessed the entire thing. Judge didn't buy that she stood in the doorway watching the plantiff's son listen to music, stationed awkwardly in the driveway/street, so girlfriend changes her story to say that she watched for a minute, came outside, got into the car and listened to music for a co

uple minutes (in the awkwardly stationed car) and then went in to watch awkwardly from her doorway. (beats me too.)

Defendant's side: Defendant wanted to clear his driveway to make way for his mom coming home from the hospital. Defendant saw the plantiff's son's car and saw the back up lights on, but since he knew he had the right of way, continued anyway, and ran into the awkwardly stationed car. Judge rightfully believed that with or without right of way, one should not run into parked cars. I agree.

Other happenings: Plantiff's side had a signed statement from the defendant that he'd agree to pay some value of money for the incident. Defendant claims

he did not sign the paper, and that the signature on the paper, in fact does not belong to him. Court marshall asks to see a driver's license to see his signature, defendant yeilds that he has no driver's license, nor did he at the time of the accident. (P.S. Plantiff's son also had/has no driver's license.)

Verdict: judge sees flaws on both sides, cuts requested pay in half to a small $800. Defendant side is happy.

Afterwards: My boss talks to defendant's family, they are grateful for his service and time (since lawyers usually do not show up to small claims courts. (That is the reason for small claims courts.)) Defendants family talks with my boss at how dissapointed

they were that it went all the way to court and that they were willing to settle since the beginning to pay $2,500. But for some reason plantiff's took them to court.

Boss then speaks with Plantiff's family in the elevator on the way down. Offers to pay them the check in full. Family declines. Mother claims, basically, that if she cant have the money she wants, she just won't have the money. We get annoyed, since the defendant's family already offered all of that money in the first place.

The Snake Rapids

Ok, so, I know a lot of family members and friends may want to know the full story of the event that went down on the Snake River in Idaho about three days ago.

To start off here's the personnel in my raft.

Front

Donovan (Cousin) / Me

Rich (Donovan's dad) / Aunt Tammi

Left Side Right Side

My dad / Ryan (Brother-in-law)

Uncle Ron (Rutterman/guide)

Back

Ok, thats a pretty excellent crew. All of us had had a taste of rapids, were in good or excellent physical shape, and most were eagle scouts or had raised eagle scouts and so they knew everything about that anyway. Not to mention, our family went down the same exact river last year.

We start our way down the river, Uncle Ron is in back doing a fantastic job of calling commands "Left side row!" "Right Side Row!" "Both Sides, Forward!" We are able to catch all the waves served to us with success. Its like any other raft trip, the water is cold, in the low 40's or 30's and you get a little wet from some rapids here and there.

As we continue, we look ahead to see a wave section with waves higher that I remembered last time on the Snake River. However, even if we'd wanted to, we couldn't paddle back up stream with such a heavy raft. So we try to increase our speed to go over the waves. We approach the first wave, which afterwards we estimated to be about 10 ft. high., instead of sailing over it, we crash through it, and it engulfs us. By this time, water is shooting through all directions so fast you only have a couple of half-second moments to open your eyes and get a snapshot of the order of events.

The first thing I remember is the big wave engulfing us, causing me to brace for it and turn my head to my left just in time to see Donovan disappear into the raining water. That same wave also shoves me into the row behind me in between the seats. When I open my eyes again, I see that the raft is full of water, and thats when my fear kicks in, but not for too long because the next wave strikes. I see my aunts legs out of the corner of my eye leave the boat, and then the wave is carrying me off the boat too. I obviously can't give an accurate account of how long I was underwater. But I felt the time was significant. The rapids spun me in a circular motion, disorienting me to where I didn't know if I was facing up or down. At first, I simply relaxed my body, depending on my life vest to bring me to the surface. But when it took longer than expected to break the surface, I began to panic and swim as hard as I could in whatever direction I was facing. When I began to realize that wasn't working, I began to think I was going to die. I accepted death, and began to relax my body again. But in that split second of thinking, my life preserver did its job and my head broke the surface, feeling nauseated from ingesting the water.

After I surface, and get a hold of my surroundings, I see my aunt Tammi swimming next to me. She offers her hand, but its too far out of reach and the river is carrying her faster than me. Donovan swims up beside me. We make sure each other is alright. After a couple of minutes in the water, Donovan mentions he's feeling pins and needles, and for me my body gets so numb, the water begins to get warm. We both realize we need to get out of the water, and begin breast stroking to the next raft. I guess the Lovell survival mode is pretty laid back. On the way to the next raft, Donovan and I made some comments about the more precious parts of our body being frozen and some other things that were kinda funny.

There were some other rather fearful moments on the ride. But thats the fun of rafting! Along with the more positive side of our trip, it was definitely an event that made you reevaluate your reason for living, if you were getting the most out of your life, and if you were being the person your Heavenly Father wants you to be. I woke up the next day to a penetrating sun shining right in my eye, and I have to admit I was grateful that I got to see another sunrise, even if it incinerated my retinas! I am also more grateful for the family I have, and the friends I have come close to. Truly, everything we have is a blessing from God. Surely, it shouldn't take a near-death experience to show us that.

Disney Land Trip

Oh man! Sometimes you just have so many memories you just don't know what to do with them! So I figured I'd better blog about it now before I procrastinate writing in my journal later.

The Foothill Jazz Band went to Disney Land recently not just to ride rides, but to get some back stage introduction and opportunities as well. I have to admit I was a little cynical about the trip at first because a lot of my friends weren't going, but my mind was definitely changed with all of the great times I had.

First off, Rileigh Sorenson was just the greatest bus buddy! She is so fun to carry on a conversation with. We could talk about anything, and she is very funny when she gets delirious and tired. I found out she can sleep in mid air basically and also whooped me at hangman just by using the word "sky" Yeah, beware of that word in hang man! Just putting that out there in case it happens to you, don't say I didn't warn you!

My room mates Justin Price, Matthew Oehler, and Kameron Campbell really changed my

attitude into a good one by making the trip even more fun right when we got into California. We had pillow fights everyday, and Im sorry justin, but you probably need to take some pepsid or heartburn controller before you do to bed, because you can really express your emotions in gassy ways. Matt Oehler can certainly a pillow at a speed of at least 100 mph, Im sure of it. And the icing on the cake was the funny videos we watching in the room last night before going to bed. I'll post some of them on here:

Also, the first day spent in the Disney and California Adventures Park was amazing as well.

A group composed of me, Kaleb Perez, Kody Ketten, and Haden Larcom for the most part had some great laughs. We went on the California Screamin' 7-100 times, and space mountain. I still laugh about the two times we went on the river rafting ride and I pretty much stayed dry and everyone else got completely wet. Just walking through the park was a hoot. Kaleb Perez is pretty much a mini version of myself, we even caught ourselves doing the same snap-walk dance

together to a hokie ragtime toon. And holy cow, Kody Ketten can make some of the weirdest/scary faces and do a mad wave with his eyebrows. Haden Larcom, was always there to put some funny, witty two cents in. It was all in all one of the funnest days of high school.

The recording workshops are probably one of the best musical memories I will take with me from high school. What kind of band gets to play behind a disney cartoon and see what it sounds like after with the cartoon? I bet not many do! The Jazz band recodings were esspecially fun. Nick Mahe and I really got into those! My favorite was the Humphrey Hop where a bunch of bears were cleaning up trash in a park while swingin' their butts with the "BAPS" of trombones! Playing behind a drunk Dumbo was also quite a kick, and also setting the scene of an elligant business trip for Mr. Incredible was extremely legit.

While this next video is a recoding of our jazz band, its the music we played and watched behind this clip. This was definitely my favorite!

The next day we arrived at the Back Lot in California Adventures in our tux and dress formal. Both the concert and jazz bands put on a fun concert with an interesting set up. I can't say it was the highlight but it was a good experience. I did see my favorite character: PLUTO! and I ran up to him back stage and nearly tackled him and in turn nearly got tackled by security! The rest of the day after that was spent having memorable laughs and returning to the fun rides we missed out on yesterday, including the old classic Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion. In the late of night we rode the Thunder Mountain ride one more time and then did a little shopping. I remember Kaleb buying a baseball for his dad and getting it stuck in his back pocket, and I tried to help him get it out while walking to the trams. I'm sure it looked pretty interesting to passersby... But heck we were more normal than most people there thats for dang sure!

Well I know I definitely left out a ton of great memories. But all-in-all it was a great summary of a great fours years in the Foothill Band. There have never been greater teachers or friends anywhere else in the world. Thanks to everyone for that, including my friends that weren't able to go. You guys have changed my life for the better! Thanks for the great times!

Simple Things...

We live in an amazingly negative society. Im not saying that Im not one of the biggest contributors to that. I tend to focus on the things that are bad or full of flaws and failure as well. Sometimes the negative things are pretty funny and engender rather funny, or witty comments. But at the end of the day, is that really what we remember? Looking back over my life I can tell you that my negative memories aren't funny. They weren't fun, although they usually had a joyful ending where I learned something. The memories I have that I still laugh at and cherish are those with positive language, with people getting along. They're the types of memories I'll keep for the rest of my life. I find these types of memories to be extremely simple. They didn't take place at huge parties or fancy buildings. They are just events that came as powerful bonding experiences with the people that matter most.

Im an extremely witty guy, but when I look back over the times I've had with my friends, I think of a personal walk I had with a best friend who confided much in me and entrusted me with his problems and personal life. I think of playing sports when our friends encouraged each other to get better and had a lot of fun. I remember shooting squirt guns inside my house late at night when the parents were asleep. (Sorry mom.)

At home with my family, I can certainly be the first to make a funny joke about how terrible the government is, or talk about a funny anecdote about something embarrassing happening to a kid at school. But when I look back on the time I had with my family, I remember a caring mother listening to all my problems and helping me turn to my scriptures. I think of my dad who always dropped what he was doing to listen to me and enjoy hearing about my life and watching his son grow into a man. I think my oldest sister, Rachel, driving me to go parties with her even though I might embarrass her, or my oldest brother Jeremy running with me on his back as a little kid, my sister Elizabeth calling me just to brighten up my day with her silly jokes and being so happy and loving, I think of my brother Erik, encouraging me to be my best self, and giving me advice, and even now and then getting into wrestling matches now and then. I think of times when we would laugh and play a game at family home evening, each of us contributing our wonderful personalities to make the night so memorable.

When I come home it is easy to think about the hardships of the day and the undesirable people I sometimes meet, but I will never forget those times when I get down on my knees and pray to a Loving Heavenly Father, and am reminded about the sacrifices of His Son Jesus Christ, and feel the spirit so strong. I will never forget those nearly sleepless fearful nights when I have felt divine arms engulf me and calm my heart. I will never forget a loving divine Father letting me know He loves me.

Thats what I'll remember. Simple, yet powerful.

Music, a Miracle...

While coming into this world, I had a seizure that caused a bleed on my brain. My survival at birth was a miracle in itself. However, many problems remained latent during my childhood. I overachieved during my first years of elementary school. I have always had a love of learning to do new things, meeting new people, and acquiring new talents and skills. In short, I loved, and still love progression. However, my last two years of elementary school brought progression to a damming halt. I found it extremely difficult to write, carry out basic algebra, and even read. My 4th and 5th graders immediately gave up hope, they wanted to move me to a special education class, and they told my mother to not push me to work hard because I was physically and mentally incapable and it would just wear me out.

Even in middle school, I found myself still struggling with science, math, English, and reading. My first accelerated math teacher saw my difficulty and seemed simply appalled at me. I quote you words she said in a parent-teacher conference meeting: "I will do everything in my power to keep William out of accelerated math." I was crushed. I wanted to learn everything, and I just wanted a teacher to believe I could!

I also took up middle school band, I played clarinet and bass clarinet. Since music required me reading and doing math to subdivide notes at the same time, music was especially difficult for me. There was a major difference though. I had a teacher who did not take failure for an option. He worked with me and my fellow students and gave us a basic understanding of music. I progressed to the highest classical band in the school under his direction, it was the first achievement I had made in years. I also received 3rd place in the entire woodwind division of the solo Olympics.

In High School band I took up the saxophone, and luckily I had a band director who played saxophone, and was determined to see me succeed. He stayed after school drilling me on important scales and concepts to make me a competent saxophonist. He promised me he'd help me make honor band. And I did! That same year, I made Allstate, and the following year I was the top Allstate tenor saxophonist. All because he believed in me.

While progressing through this band program, I not only gained confidence, but I learned how spread myself extremely thin in working for what I want. I learned better methods on how to study, and my sophomore year, I was achieving straight A's progressing my way up to a 4.0 GPA. I even won the County Science fair, and received $1000. My school counselor seemed astonished as my class rank rose by the 100's every quarter. The way I did it was simple - I simply took the skills of practice and confidence I learned from band, and applied it to every subject in my life. I testify with every fiber of my being that band is what gave me the skills to succeed.

Unfortunately, my school district has already begun to take away various arts programs from schools around the states. I know I am not the only one who has been blessed by the miracle of music. These programs help kids find themselves every year and develop them into responsible, teachable students. Had it not been for band, I know I would not be writing this to you today. I know I would not have the confidence to enter into any college of my choice. I know I would not feel of any worth to society, nor have the great friendships that I enjoy this day.

If I music had been taken away from my school before I developed into the person I am now, who knows where I would be. Who knows where countless others are going with these new cuts. My heart wrenches for those poor students who wonder why they can't continue what they love. You cut music, you cut people like me down.

Friendship

We all know what we want right? We think good, long, and hard about what we want. By way of friends, we want someone we can tell everything to. We want somebody who can cheer us up on our down days and make our up days even better. When we have something horrible we want to say, perhaps we want to be able to explain it to that friend, and when we have something great we want to share, we want our friend to rejoice with us. We want our friend to love us, and enjoy being around us. We want that friend to laugh at our jokes, and to understand us. That is what we want in a friend, isn't it? Well what about OUR end in the deal.... or let me rephrase that, what does YOUR FRIEND want?

So if we all want it those qualities in a friend, then your friend wants them too. I tire of hearing people who look for leadership or responsibility in a friend and give none in return. So if you're falling off a cliff, you want your friend to help you - but, say they were to fall, you couldn't imagine how they could ever fall, and since they helped you up, they can obviously get themselves up right? - WRONG. Stop putting so much responsibility on those you care about, and take some responsibility yourself. Your friend can only hold you up for so long until he/she too must take a stumble too. As Batman's butler so eloquently put:

"Why do we fall Master Wayne? - So we can pick ourselves up again"

- butler Alfred

Everyone's going to fall. We will all have our fallacies. We will ALL have our moments when we need someone to love us and make us FEEL loved. And perhaps if your friend does not feel that reciprocated from you, he/she may decide to take a break from you. Thats fine. Do not try and bring the relationship back to its original state simply to start throwing your cares back on your friend. Give them their space as needed.

Perhaps you feel if this friend of yours steps out of your life for a moment, you will have no one to confide in. No one to take your troubles to. No one to listen and love you in an understanding way. No one who will feel quite the same way you do... Its a good thing that those thoughts are only a deception. Because there is one who knows how you feel. There is one that will never fall. There is one who knows you so personally, He knows you better than you know yourself. And if you feel alone, perhaps this is a blessing for you to turn Him, embrace yourself in His love that He so willingly gives. Rest your cares on Him, all your cares. For that is the way it is intended.

"He lives, to wipe away your tears... He lives, to silence all your fears.... Oh sweet the joy this sentence gives, I know that my Redeemer lives."

I just don't get it...

People. You are weird. I'm sorry, I have an opportunity to meet a lot of people. I have many opportunities to lead, I'm in band, I go to church, and I like to play sports as often as I can, so I get to meet a lot of people. I have a lot of friends from the classes that I'm in and the activities I do, so I'm obviously not extremely narrow minded (although I'll admit maybe I am a little.)

There are just a couple of things I don't understand about people now days.

1.) Zombies... why the heck are people obsessed with zombies? And if its not zombies, its vampires, or things that hunt such creatures. It seems like in every classroom or bus trip, I meet somebody, reading, watching a movie, or playing a game about zombies and/or vampires. And you know what? I wouldn't mind if you privately took fascination of the development of stories about these fictional, yes FICTIONAL beings, but when you try to emulate them by acting or dressing like them, that makes people uncomfortable.

2.) Leather... what is with leather? I like leather jackets, they're good looking and usually warm... but why do you wear it ALL over you? And why do you wear leather pants period? It just makes you look shady! And please don't wear it when its nearly 100 degrees outside, its disgusting. I dont understand why people wear that in an effort to be "different." You look just like all the other people who are trying to be "different," so be yourself, please!

And Im sorry but you are not like him ----->

when you where leather. I know you're trying, but he's fake. Thats why that comes from a costume store.... sorry.

3.) Long unkempt, unwashed hair... Why? I don't understand who that attracts... Hopefully not you're significant other. I mean, maybe you're trying to look like a zombie, or a bounty hunter but I just don't see how that helps everyone else? I've asked girls and 100% that I have asked say its disgusting. They also added that guys who usually have unkempt hair usually don't clean their body in general, especially their teeth.

I don't know, perhaps I seem intolerable - but I think those are relatively unusual things. And you know, I would even be talking about this if I didn't have to sit next to a guy on a bus from Nevada to Reno with those very same characteristics. If it were just one person, I would have probably forgotten about the whole thing, but it was a bus full of those people! Gross! and I see them around school. I wouldn't even have minded the guy if he didn't video record me on his iPhone.

Like I said, I have a lot of friends with a lot of different backgrounds. Its fine to be different, I like different. But isn't there a fine line between different and simply creepy? Come on. Bounty Hunter of Zombies? Really? If it creeped me out, chances are several others would have felt just as uncomfortable sitting next to as I did.

Being yourself doesn't mean being awkward on purpose. It doesn't mean you need to stand out. It just means you need to like yourself. You're clothes, or fictional jobs and fantasies do not dictate your self-esteem. Just be yourself... Please and thanks.

Smile!

Whew, ok, doing good on the homework so far. But I'm getting bored so I figure I'll take a break and blog. Yes, thats.... just weird I know, nobody else may blog on their breaks but I do.

Recently I was on Facebook, and well, I was looking at some pictures from a prom date my friend in the youth committee went on. As I kept shuffling through the pictures, I landed on on some band ones, and some other miscellaneous pictures and then I landed on this:

Yeah, a little big and huge, but flippin' refreshing. I dont even know the kid on the left, but the kid on the right smiles all the time. And even though I dont know everyone in this photo, its just great to see such legit smiles. Call me weird for appreciating the expression of such an abstract noun, but really, a smile is the most common way to express an intangible emotion - happiness. I couldn't help but text him and tell him how awesome he is that he smiles so much. I think he gets that a lot, because its true.

I love making jokes. Not because it makes me look funny, but because I love to see people happy. In fact I have a way of feeling the emotions of people around me, and when people feel awkward or sad, I tend to feel that with them. So when I see people smile, especially those I care about, it just makes my day better, and not just mine, but really it does a service to everyone!

Im pretty sure if we all just smiled, legitimately, like that photo, the world will become better! Truthfully how can it not. When you smile you simply leave no room for the enemy of your soul to dictate how you feel, and you put light in the souls of others.

Please don't be mad... it makes me laugh

I'm a laugher. Always have been, always will be. I laugh at a lot of things, even if their not funny. Even if I don't necessarily think they're funny. I think laughter often makes people more comfortable, so even if they tell a stupid joke, I laugh so they don't feel dumb - usually. But I legitimately laugh at a lot of things... Angry people is one of those things.

While there are appropriate times to share concerns with a peer or even a mentor, getting angry in public, or on a regular basis just seems unnecessary. You really had to get

mad at that person in front of all of his/her friends? You really had to talk about it right then? Wow, I'd hate to see you at home... but thanks for the entertainment... I really enjoyed it.

One of my favorite scenes on a Disney movie is on A Bugs Life. I love the part when hopper is getting super upset at one of his mercenaries because he wont shut up.When Hopper gets in his face, the guy starts laughing a little bit. That makes Hopper even angrier which makes the scene funnier after he says "I swear, if I hadn't promised your mother - on hear death bed - that

I wouldn't kill you I would... KILL YOU!" To which his mercenary grass Hopper replies "And trust me, nobody appreciates that more than I do."

To put this feeling in perspective, have you ever had that time when you're getting lectured by a parent or a teacher and something they do, say, or just a random thought makes you start to laugh? Sometimes what your laughing about isn't even that funny, its just the fact that you're laughing in a terrible situation. I've had it happen to me so much I have artfully mastered making my laugh look like a sneeze or a cough.

I can remember one time in particular - In Mr. Battani's Middle School band. We were playing a song, and it was probably the best run through we'd had so far... but then a trumpet player plays one wrong note and sits on it for the longest time, in ignorance. Suddenly when he looks up, he sees an irate Battani dramatically silencing the band and hopping off his chair to run at the trumpet section. When the player finally noticed, all he could say is "Woah! WOah! WOAH!!!"

I've never seen a cool angry person. You just end up making a fool of yourself. Just be happy. Laugh, have fun, life may not be great but you can still find the good. If its an off day, just keep to yourself, but whatever you do, please don't get mad... you'll make me laugh.

Of seeming wise...

I have come to find I am a pretty easy going person. Even as a leader, you'll rarely find me getting upset about somebody stepping out of line a couple times, or maybe even several times. Trust me, I make mistakes and many of them. I've been through a lot of embarrassment as we all have. I can sympathize with people who feel like things in life don't come easy. I feel the bitter feelings of kids who get yelled at or chastised because they are unintentionally ignorant. We're human beings, we make mistakes and we don't know everything. Isn't it great that we have established that common principle among ourselves: that we are human beings and we make mistakes? I think many of us have used that shibboleth for an instrument of comfort for a friend or acquaintance. In fact the Apostle Jeffry R. Holland once said:

“Perhaps your life has been different from mine, but I doubt it. I’ve had to struggle to know my standing before God. As a teenager, I found it hard to pray, and harder to fast. My mission was not easy. I struggled as a student, only to find that I had to struggle afterwards too. In this present assignment, I’ve wept and ached for guidance. It seems no worthy accomplishment has ever come easily for me, and maybe it won’t for you – but I’m living long enough to be grateful for that.”

If you've ever read about the Elder Holland, he is probably one of the most successful people you will ever hear of. He's been the president of BYU and has been on every board imaginable. He gives some of the best speeches and talks you will ever hear and yet here he is admitting that He doesn't have it easy.

While we make mistakes, we step out of line, we slip up or mess up, thats all fine. Where I become uneasy is when you cannot admit it. There is somebody who simply cannot take the blame for something everywhere you go!

Firstly, there are those people who will only kinda feign knowledge here and there when they are

put in tight spots. They're usually not that bad because they at least have good intentions, they want to prove to the teacher that they at least have the brains to assume they know what is being taught or have ways of figuring it out. Thats good. At least they don't have life spoon fed to them. They can usually pass without annoying anyone as long as

their attitude is good while they speak.

But then, there's those kinds of people who nonchalantly flaunt their knowledge. That bugs me. Especially when it is previous knowledge or skill that is previously forgotten or at the moment latent so that they don't have to follow it up with proof. You know, the kinds of people who say "yeah, I used to be really really good at basketball, but I'm not now" just before you play a game of basketball or they'll say "yeah, right now, I'm only a saxophonist, but I used to be one of the best at clarinet and trombone." Great, so you're seeking praise and awe without anyone expecting you to back it up.

My band director taught us all really good solution to avoid that: "Be cool, but don't talk about it." Thats right exactly! Just show it! That way you show it and back it up at the same time. If people don't like it, don't explain that it used to be good, just make it better! You might find they like you!

Then there are those with a serious problem of a propensity to argue with everything, along with the fact they cant admit they're wrong. They seem to just combine all my pet peeves into one person. I encountered such a person about a week ago, here is my tale:

I was simply minding my own business in physics, just doing my work, when this kid randomly blurts out "You know what is really crazy? The Mormons actually believe Christ came to the Americas, what a bunch of ****."

At first I just ignored him but then I found out he was actually talking to me when he looked straight at me and said "How can you honestly be so dumb to believe that? There's no proof."

I just smiled politely and said "You know, since you were there, I'd love for you to explain what really happened."

And then I just simply went along with my physics homework hoping he got that it was just a joke, and actually assuming he thought he was joking. But then five minutes later he said "Its just absurd for you guys to believe that after getting killed he just showed up to some Indians."

By that time I was annoyed and said "Wow, what a crazy concept, a religion that believes that God loves all His children. How dumb, right?"

Then he began spouting out random facts that I really didn't pay attention to and then he finished with "ya, so you go to a dumb church, Stupid F***** Mormons."

So I explained to him that he could make fun of what I personally believed in all he wants and I wouldn't care, but that I couldn't sit there and let him talk about my church that way.... That shut him up, until thirty minutes later when he said "Well, having used to be the best forensics debater, I've come to learn that you can't argue with stupid people."

"Yeah, you just proved that." I said

I swear, he was the triple kill of typical stupid people! Not only was he unceasing, but he couldn't admit he made a mistake, or may have been wrong, then he did that whole "oh I used to be the best" thing. I like people, even if you're stupid, but I don't care how cool you think you are, if you're a high school orchestra teacher or a used-to-be-the-best-forensics debater, you make mistakes! Just admit it! Make mistakes and make friends! Please!

I'm glad to live in this wonderful world...

There have been a couple of times the primary song "My Heavenly Father Loves Me" has been recalled to my memory. Many of us have sang it and primary and probably remember some of the words. "Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or look at the blue blue sky. Whenever I feel the rain on my face, and the wind as it rushes by..." I never thought much of the song when I was in primary, but sometimes during time of peace when I have seen the beauty of the earth, I have particularly remembered the ending stanza of the song "I'm glad that I live in this wonderful world, Heavenly Father created it for me."

I remember first thinking about this song during a week up at BYU's music Summerfest. I actually had really hated the first couple of days. But as I made friends, things became bearable. Even with my poor attitude, however, I think Heavenly Father had a lesson to teach me up there. I had grown so concerned with being better than people, and whether or not I was first chair, that I was missing out on everything else the Lord had given me. I do this a lot! Thankfully the Lord still teaches me this lesson to this day. On the last day of the trip, Roger, one of the head counselors took a couple of us on a trip up the mountain to hike up to the big Y. I thought that would be kinda cool, just to show off that I'd been up there. I was still a little bitter at the thought of hiking since I was so tired from the week. The hike was a little bit of workout, it had a lot of switchbacks and it was not very short. But boy, was it worth it! It wasn't even the big Y that was so cool. It was look down at Utah from the Y during the night and seeing the lights of the city illuminate the beautiful earth! (Not to mention you couldn't even see the air pollution since the city lights were not that bright.) I can remember that song coming back to me when I was up there and the spirit confirmed it was a lesson from God.

However, I'm not perfect. I eventually got caught up with school, and teacher's expectations, music, and all that good stuff. As everyone knows, that gets pretty frustrating sometimes. In fact, these last two weeks were near boiling point! I was in a bad mood because of things that were going on, and my best friend, Dallin, I knew had been having it rough too. So I invited him along with my family to go to my grandfather's ranch up in Utah for president's day weekend! It was a good place to let most of the stress of school just roll off. We went snowmobiling, single sledding, bobsledding, and built some snow caves. The snow was awesome! By the second day of our vacation, most of the snow was complete powder and was really soft! The inside of the ranch was cozy as well, especially the fire Dallin and I helped build after a couple of failed attempts. After we built the fire, I remember Dallin and I just sitting there getting warm after having been out in the snow. I recall Dallin saying after a while "Fire is such a phenomenon." As I thought about that, the song "My Heavenly Father Loves Me" came back into my head. I thought of the beautiful snow, the peaceful fire, the love of friends and family. Its a wonder, with all these blessings how we could ever get stressed out.

Maybe, we can all do well, when we feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or burdened, to just take a step back, look around and the world and its beauty and say "Im glad to live in this wonderful world..." and then look at your family, and your supporting friends, teachers and mentors, and then say with a surety "...I Know Heavenly Father Loves me."

Microsoft

I have, for the longest time, been afraid of Apple or Macintosh computers. It just looked scary because they don't have a "Start" button! What did they just simply expect me to know what icon I was clicking on on the desktop? How could anyone want to buy such a confusing thing? Well a couple of years ago, I was at my cousins house, and they happened to have an Apple Computer. After we had dinner I figured I'd just go on and update some things on Myspace and check mail. I didn't think much of it. It was just so simple, I was on and off within seconds! I look back on that experience now with such a longing...

Now I am sitting, exiled to my mother's office computer because my other microsoft computer decided it just didn't want to work. It esspecially hated running Apple products. I recieved an Ipod for my birthday, and to sync music to it, I have to use Itunes. Itunes is pretty well organized and it has a lot of good things to purchase from it. It plays videos better than Windows Media player, not to mention I can sync all my scheduling stuff all from itunes. Its a great product! Well windows doesn't like it. So I download this audio book for English from Itunes and I'm syncing it to my Ipod, and just as it completes, Windows restarts. So I try it again, from the begining... booting it up, waiting three hundred years just to see the start bar and then waiting for Windows to decide it finally wants to listen to me and start up iTunes. Finally when I get it syncing again, the system restards. Well being stupid and falling for Microsoft's practical jokes, I repeat this process about four times.

Well then I decide, there must just be too many viruses on this blasted computer. Viruses are, after all, notorious on Windows computers. In fact this one that I am on, you can just hear the viruses at work in the hard drive, its constantly trying to clear its mind just to think. In fact this computer is so dumb it wont let me post pictures on this blog. So if this is boring, blame Microsoft - Not me.... Anway, I decide to practically revamp the entire computer, and just reinstall windows XP. Well, I start going through some sort of repair sequence and then it asks me for the product key and I type it in. Apparently, it doesn't accept THAT product key. So I now have half of Windows XP installed on my computer, and now it wont start unless I give the computer god the right product key sacrifice it wants.

So I call Microsoft, after laboriously searching for their number. May I say, none of their technical support helpers spoke complete english, even though they thought they did. The first lady tells me the product key is on the CPU inside the computer... I didn't believe that, so she gave me to her supervisor. For some reason or another, this guy decided my name was Micheal, but I decided not to correct him. He told me all I had to do was tell him the product key number and then he'd be able to help me install it. So I give it to him and he tells me its valid... but if I want it installed I'm going to have to pay him $165 to purchase some Anti-virus thing and some name of something else I'd never even heard of. So I call another branch of Microsoft with the same result except that it was only $65-95 or higher depending on other problems it has. For some reason if I had Windows 7, they said I would not have to pay these fees. So their basically just punishing me for being satisfied with their first product. So now Im tearing my hair out, using this computer, but whenever I use Itunes its a breath of fresh air.

Well, that's that. Microsoft hates satisfied customers and Apple is just satisfaction garunteed. What really gets me, is that Bill Gates even had problems with his own company after he retired from Microsoft, heres his e-mail about his experience:

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—- Original Message —-
From: Bill GatesSent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 10:05 AMTo: Jim AllchinCc: Chris Jones (WINDOWS); Bharat Shah (NT); Joe Peterson; Will Poole; Brian Valentine; Anoop Gupta (RESEARCH)Subject: Windows Usability Systematic degradation flame

I am quite disappointed at how Windows Usability has been going backwards and the program management groups don’t drive usability issues.
Let me give you my experience from yesterday.
I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack … so I went to Microsoft.com. They have a download place so I went there.
The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up.
This site is so slow it is unusable.
It wasn’t in the top 5 so I expanded the other 45.
These 45 names are totally confusing. These names make stuff like: C:Documents and SettingsbillgMy DocumentsMy Pictures seem clear.
They are not filtered by the system … and so many of the things are strange.
I tried scoping to Media stuff. Still no moviemaker. I typed in movie. Nothing. I typed in movie maker. Nothing.
So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying – where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist?
So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated.
They told me to go to the main page search button and type movie maker (not moviemaker!).
I tried that. The site was pathetically slow but after 6 seconds of waiting up it came.
I thought for sure now I would see a button to just go do the download.
In fact it is more like a puzzle that you get to solve. It told me to go to Windows Update and do a bunch of incantations.
This struck me as completely odd. Why should I have to go somewhere else and do a scan to download moviemaker?
So I went to Windows update. Windows Update decides I need to download a bunch of controls. (Not) just once but multiple times where I get to see weird dialog boxes.
Doesn’t Windows update know some key to talk to Windows?
Then I did the scan. This took quite some time and I was told it was critical for me to download 17megs of stuff.
This is after I was told we were doing delta patches to things but instead just to get 6 things that are labeled in the SCARIEST possible way I had to download 17meg.
So I did the download. That part was fast. Then it wanted to do an install. This took 6 minutes and the machine was so slow I couldn’t use it for anything else during this time.
What the heck is going on during those 6 minutes? That is crazy. This is after the download was finished.
Then it told me to reboot my machine. Why should I do that? I reboot every night — why should I reboot at that time?
So I did the reboot because it INSISTED on it. Of course that meant completely getting rid of all my Outlook state.
So I got back up and running and went to Windows Update again. I forgot why I was in Windows Update at all since all I wanted was to get Moviemaker.
So I went back to Microsoft.com and looked at the instructions. I have to click on a folder called WindowsXP. Why should I do that? Windows Update knows I am on Windows XP.
What does it mean to have to click on that folder? So I get a bunch of confusing stuff but sure enough one of them is Moviemaker.
So I do the download. The download is fast but the Install takes many minutes. Amazing how slow this thing is.
At some point I get told I need to go get Windows Media Series 9 to download.
So I decide I will go do that. This time I get dialogs saying things like “Open” or “Save”. No guidance in the instructions which to do. I have no clue which to do.
The download is fast and the install takes 7 minutes for this thing.
So now I think I am going to have Moviemaker. I go to my add/remove programs place to make sure it is there.
It is not there.
What is there? The following garbage is there. Microsoft Autoupdate Exclusive test package, Microsoft Autoupdate Reboot test package, Microsoft Autoupdate testpackage1. Microsoft AUtoupdate testpackage2, Microsoft Autoupdate Test package3.
Someone decided to trash the one part of Windows that was usable? The file system is no longer usable. The registry is not usable. This program listing was one sane place but now it is all crapped up.
But that is just the start of the crap. Later I have listed things like Windows XP Hotfix see Q329048 for more information. What is Q329048? Why are these series of patches listed here? Some of the patches just things like Q810655 instead of saying see Q329048 for more information.
What an absolute mess.
Moviemaker is just not there at all.
So I give up on Moviemaker and decide to download the Digital Plus Package.
I get told I need to go enter a bunch of information about myself.
I enter it all in and because it decides I have mistyped something I have to try again. Of course it has cleared out most of what I typed.
I try (typing) the right stuff in 5 times and it just keeps clearing things out for me to type them in again.
So after more than an hour of craziness and making my programs list garbage and being scared and seeing that Microsoft.com is a terrible website I haven’t run Moviemaker and I haven’t got the plus package.
The lack of attention to usability represented by these experiences blows my mind. I thought we had reached a low with Windows Network places or the messages I get when I try to use 802.11. (don’t you just love that root certificate message?)
When I really get to use the stuff I am sure I will have more feedback.

- Bill Gates
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I don't mean to advertise or anything, but I think that clears up which one will make your life better. Take a bite out of Apple, its refreshing!

Two Parts

Who in the heck invented two-part questions? Seriously, what is the point of having two or more parts to a question? Is it just so that your teacher can assign you numbers 1-6 in the book and underneath each question is about 50 more questions? Sorry teach, it doesn't make you look any nicer.

I can't imagine the world if we all delivered multiple part questions. The press interviewing a politician would be something like - "Senator Goodman, What is your view on health care? Why is that your view on that? What or who inspired this view? Explain." Politicians have a hard enough time answering one, let alone 500 packed into one! So why students?

What about a criminal investigator interrogating a suspect under the heat lamp - "Alright Jonny, I want the answers and I want 'em fast. Where were you last Sunday? Why were you there? Who was there with you? What did you experience there? How did the experience affect you? Answer in complete sentences and explain you answer!"

Thats another thing I don't understand - the "Explain" part at the end of nearly every two-part question. By the time I encounter that part of the question series I feel like I've already explained it! For example, I recently took a test with this question "Do you believe someone with military discipline or a business politician would be better suited for being president? Why do you think that? Explain." Doesn't the "why" part of the question mean the same thing as explain? Honestly, I wish I just had a copy and paste button.

I guess we should just start asking multiple-part questions, it would take less time for us, and some teachers might rethink the way they write their tests. Just a thought.

Retards

Retards - A word that has been popping up in my vocabulary and many of those around me. It seemed to be the theme of my weekend.

I auditioned my way into the Honor Band Wind Symphony as four chair alto Saxophone and finally had the opportunity to participate in the band on Friday and Saturday at the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV). My director, Dr. Michalski was a dear sweet man from Ireland and he was and is brilliant with music. The first thing he said to us when he stood in front of us is "Although I am delighted to be here, I am also quite eager to get home, you see, its my daughter's birthday on Monday..." and was interrupted by the band saying "AWWWWWWW!" to which he quickly responded - "But thats fine, she's retarded." I knew I was in for a good time and he didn't disappoint!
(Dr. Michalski)

I think my director set the theme for the weekend. It all started with an awkward couple - they HAD to make out with each other every time we had a break. They had to hug, or just touch each other awkwardly. My best bud, Dallin and I were just thinking the same thing about the situation - RETARDED! But that doesn't quite clearly define it. Thats more just annoying.

It was Friday, our main day for practicing for our honor band concert. Long rehearsals and lots of them. After all that, I think a guy can go to the bathroom on his break right? Nope! Some college kid comes in while I'm using the only urinal (in that bathroom out of about four in that one building!) and stops and says to his friends "Crap! Some kid is using the bathroom." and just walked out angrily. Dallin chimes in "Sorry about that.... He'll be done in a second... you cant wait!" But that kid will probably not use that bathroom ever again now that disgusting High Schoolers suddenly adapted to having bladders and need to use the bathroom every once in a while! Yes - Retarded!

After that break, it was bake to rehearsal. Rehearsal was probably where the word "retarded" eminated from for the weekend. After three sessions of three long hours it didn't take long to see the real side of some of the finest musicians in the state. In a song with a 2/2 meter, the tuba and basson section found themselves rushing, and the flutes may have actually been playing a little bit slow. Missing the concept of 2/2 didn't only happen to them however, Michalski desperately asked the whole band to count "one-two, one-two, one-two" as while the tuba, flute, and bassoon sections played their parts. Nearly every kid in the room said "one-" or "-two" on a different beat. Michalski's reaction "My daughter could count those two numbers in time when she was in retard class!!!" So finally the band became more unified in their counting but the afore mentioned sections never quite got it together in that particular rehearsal. Reaction: "I don't know who in the h***'s RETARDED but its someone in the bassoon or tuba section!"

Finally, our lunch break rolls around. Matt, Dallin, and I head to IN N' OUT Burger... perhaps nature was the determined factor that kept the theme of the weekend going. The first thing we encounter is a hyper dog with no leash. That wasn't half bad, next we found its owner - she had a cigar in one hand and was grabbing for the leash with another all the while yelling (at her dog, mind you) "Get back here ya F***-Face!" which would be followed by the most horrible coughs. *AchhhEIM! AchhhEIM!*. Further down the path to lunch an old man passes us. I can hear him saying something to himself from far away so I look for a sign of a bluthooth... no such luck. As we get closer I hear the man is actually singing out loud to himself, something about the U.S.A and had no idea where he was going. Immediately after that a raven pokes its head out over a lamp post and stares right at Dallin and practically shreeks at him. I don't know if it's very polite to say - but "retarded" was the first word to come to mind about all that... I blame Michalski.

Well, the rest of the time was characterized by mostly the same. Yelling directors, angry or insane people. But Mr. Michalski sure taught me a lot. He really was a nice and sensative guy. He told us we were better than most all-state bands. He eventually steered the atmosphere to a more touching one when we presented him with a couple of gifts and he told us how great we rehearsed. We put on a wonderful, 7 piece concert that night. On the last song, I saw a tear in the directors eye, which made me a little emotional too. It made me realize these opportunities of fun and uniquity don't come easy - and this was my last one! When the concert was over, I really felt I didn't belong there anymore... I was done being a student for the honor bands forever. I looked out at the new kids, from freshman to Junior and laughed inwardly. They thought they'd seen it all - some of them had three years left... I hope they are as good as mine were.

Federalism and the DMV

It was a typical day in the Political Science 101 class at Foothill High School, people argued, gave opinions - that no one else listened to because everyone else is worried about sharing their opinion - when suddenly Mr. Vaughan silenced the class and began the lecturing. As unusual as this may seem, humans at Foothill actually enjoy lectures from Mr. Vaughan, mainly because he doesn't read them from a slide on powerpoint insulting our ability to read and comprehend for ourselves, and secondly because the information is useful enough to be studied in the future and will 99% of the time be applied in the near future.

Today, he spoke of Federalism - yes, a term that the typical class of history or government students would dread. However, this teacher had altered plans of talking about how federalism affected the citizens, and not just how they applied to government workers. He referred to federalism as "Access Points." This means a citizen of the United States has several opportunities to have his/her voice heard whether that be an idea, or a complaint. He explained how citizens have 3 levels of government to turn to - Local, state, and Federal, of course. Within these levels there are the three divisions that everyone knows about - Executive, Legislative, and Judiciary. Little did our class know how much this fateful day would change us... well, ok maybe just me.

It was a cold morning on Christmas break, several months after the Federalism lecture by Mr. Vaughan. I was seated in one of those folding chairs, with a light jacket, in about 20 degree weather, at 4:00 a.m. (yes that does mean I had to wake up at around 3:00.) outside of one of the most hairsplitting locations in the Solar System - The Department of Motor Vehicles. Yes, the DMV in the flesh - proud to announce it's 100th anniversary of manufacturing people without the smiling feature.

Around 7:00 my mom was starting to have joint aches from sitting so long, and called my brother to come with some snacks for me and maybe some jackets. When my brother arrived, the guard changed and he was put on duty while mom went to buy us both breakfast. He dutifully reminded me that my "life was on the line" because he had to wake up early and was made to bring me not one, not two, but three jackets for our camp out in disturbia. The jackets made our little setup look more like some military base with food provisions and shelter, but still I felt really grateful for the all the work that was going for this would-be special day.

Anyway, cutting to the chase, I finally got my standby number called around 8:10. I was asked to wait for a test proctor to greet me near the registration desk. A few minutes later, she was there, my test proctor. With the expression she had on her face, to say she wished I would have crashed my car before I made it to the DMV would be an understatement. She asked me to lead her to my car to begin the test. On our way out, I grabbed the door to hold it open for her, which she seemed to politely refuse by placing her hand on it to hold it open herself.

I get into my car, and after a couple of diagnostics, she and her clipboard enter the car as well. There's something about DMV clipboards that seem to scream at you what your test proctor cant say to vocally without causing the driver major distraction.

I am instructed to pull out, and am immediately informed that my front bumper was to close to another car's back bumper while backing out - and there it is, the proctor's pen touches the paper that is on the clipboard. As I exit the parking lot the proctor instructs me to turn left at the next stop light. Since I couldn't quite here what she said over the low drafting air-conditioner, I clarify "You said turn left, right?" I guess this question was too much of an annoyance to just mark down on paper because my instructor responded "YES! You have to listen sometimes!"... and then she wrote more on her little clipboard. The driving test continues like this for a while and occasionally the proctor makes a mistake in telling me where to go causing me to get somewhat flustered here and there and occasionally I made some turns that were a little "too cautious" but next time I'll be sure to speed through the school zone that may or may not have been in session at the time.

What happened next actually scared me. From the passenger seat I start hearing “Ogh! *Hack* *Hack!* Ogh! *cough*” … I figured maybe I should pull over or something if the proctor was going to die right here in my car. Just as that thought crosses my mind she rolls down the window about half way. “Oh no, she’s gonna puke,” I thought, “and if she pukes, then I’m gonna puke…” … But it turns out this was all just a false alarm. She just was getting a little too hot in my car because I was freezing and had the heater turned up somewhat high… but for heaven sakes did her mother not teach her to use her big girl words? So, yes, I did hit the little “+” sign on the steering wheel to turn up the heat.

Well, I think you have the idea about the personality of this dear sweet lady so lets just skip how parallel parking went. However, right after parallel parking, we had to wait in line to park back at the DMV so it was just this awkward silence, so I took the liberty to be the better person and turn off the heat in the car. The proctor responded with “Thank you! Oh my God, thank you!” I wanted to congratulate her on learning to use her manners! She actually said thank you! J

But I guess she didn’t want me to get the wrong idea about her personality, she intended to rectify the thank you. I held the door open for her once more as were walking back into the DMV, which I guess must have just disgusted her or something she nearly gasped saying “No! No! Hurry Go in!” I swear she almost had me perfectly trained the way she was in the art of never smiling again and intended to review that skill by yelling at me and informing how stupid I was and oh, by the way if you didn’t notice, I’m not going to give you your license.

Well, I guess you’re wondering where this ties into federalism. Well I decided to put my newfound knowledge of “access points” to the work. I gave a call over to Governor Gibbons (since the DMV is a state government “service”) and reached his secretary. Unfortunately Gibbons had stepped out, but I was assured that, had he been there, I would have been connected with him straight away because his secretary seemed to loath the DMV as much as I did. I know, ironic right? Well, since she couldn’t get me on the phone with Gibbons, she gave me every single phone number she could, every director’s office of every DMV office, and the director of directors office.

So, I called Mr. Director of Directors… and I got HIS secretary. I told her the situation and emphasized the part where my “bumper was too close to the other car’s back bumper,” and when I was satanic for thinking of holding open the door for this wronged lady. When I finished, the secretary asked “Did you hit the other car’s bumper when you were backing out?” “No.” I said. “Well,” said the secretary, “I guess that wouldn’t really fall under the ‘too close’ category.” For some reason the secretary apologized for the situation several times. It wasn’t her fault, she wasn’t there, nor did she hire Ms. Grumpy-face. But she did let me know that I would receive a call from the proctor’s direct manager. Sure enough, just before the office closed the next day I get a call from the Driving Test Manager, who apologized as well, and told me she was walking straight the proctor’s office as soon as she hung up the phone.

Well, the ending of this story is double plus happy, grumpy-proctor got yelled at, and I didn’t see her around the drive test area the next time I was around… and then I wrote an essay political science about this story for my semester Exam…. and I got an A! Thank you DMV!!!