I auditioned my way into the Honor Band Wind Symphony as four chair alto Saxophone and finally had the opportunity to participate in the band on Friday and Saturday at the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV). My director, Dr. Michalski was a dear sweet man from Ireland and he was and is brilliant with music. The first thing he said to us when he stood in front of us is "Although I am delighted to be here, I am also quite eager to get home, you see, its my daughter's birthday on Monday..." and was interrupted by the band saying "AWWWWWWW!" to which he quickly responded - "But thats fine, she's retarded." I knew I was in for a good time and he didn't disappoint!
(Dr. Michalski)
(Dr. Michalski)I think my director set the theme for the weekend. It all started with an awkward couple - they HAD to make out with each other every time we had a break. They had to hug, or just touch each other awkwardly. My best bud, Dallin and I were just thinking the same thing about the situation - RETARDED! But that doesn't quite clearly define it. Thats more just annoying.
It was Friday, our main day for practicing for our honor band concert. Long rehearsals and lots of them. After all that, I think a guy can go to the bathroom on his break right? Nope! Some college kid comes in while I'm using the only urinal (in that bathroom out of about four in that one building!) and stops and says to his friends "Crap! Some kid is using the bathroom." and just walked out angrily. Dallin chimes in "Sorry about that.... He'll be done in a second... you cant wait!" But that kid will probably not use that bathroom ever again now that disgusting High Schoolers suddenly adapted to having bladders and need to use the bathroom every once in a while! Yes - Retarded!
After that break, it was bake to rehearsal. Rehearsal was probably where the word "retarded" eminated from for the weekend. After three sessions of three long hours it didn't take long to see the real side of some of the finest musicians in the state. In a song with a 2/2 meter, the tuba and basson section found themselves rushing, and the flutes may have actually been playing a little bit slow. Missing the concept of 2/2 didn't only happen to them however, Michalski desperately asked the whole band to count "one-two, one-two, one-two" as while the tuba, flute, and bassoon sections played their parts. Nearly every kid in the room said "one-" or "-two" on a different beat. Michalski's reaction "My daughter could count those two numbers in time when she was in retard class!!!" So finally the band became more unified in their counting but the afore mentioned sections never quite got it together in that particular rehearsal. Reaction: "I don't know who in the h***'s RETARDED but its someone in the bassoon or tuba section!"
Finally, our lunch break rolls around. Matt, Dallin, and I head to IN N' OUT Burger... perhaps nature was the determined factor that kept the theme of the weekend going. The first thing we encounter is a hyper dog with no leash. That wasn't half bad, next we found its owner - she had a cigar in one hand and was grabbing for the leash with another all the while yelling (at her dog, mind you) "Get back here ya F***-Face!" which would be followed by the most horrible coughs. *AchhhEIM! AchhhEIM!*. Further down the path to lunch an old man passes us. I can hear him saying something to himself from far away so I look for a sign of a bluthooth... no such luck. As we get closer I hear the man is actually singing out loud to himself, something about the U.S.A and had no idea where he was going. Immediately after that a raven pokes its head out over a lamp post and stares right at Dallin and practically shreeks at him. I don't know if it's very polite to say - but "retarded" was the first word to come to mind about all that... I blame Michalski.
Well, the rest of the time was characterized by mostly the same. Yelling directors, angry or insane people. But Mr. Michalski sure taught me a lot. He really was a nice and sensative guy. He told us we were better than most all-state bands. He eventually steered the atmosphere to a more touching one when we presented him with a couple of gifts and he told us how great we rehearsed. We put on a wonderful, 7 piece concert that night. On the last song, I saw a tear in the directors eye, which made me a little emotional too. It made me realize these opportunities of fun and uniquity don't come easy - and this was my last one! When the concert was over, I really felt I didn't belong there anymore... I was done being a student for the honor bands forever. I looked out at the new kids, from freshman to Junior and laughed inwardly. They thought they'd seen it all - some of them had three years left... I hope they are as good as mine were.
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